Wednesday 3 June 2015

If Only You had brains , you would have solved it. ~~~ Criticism vs self confidence

It was the Mathematics class time for the 8th grade. Teacher had written one of the hardest algebra problems on the board. Each kid was supposed to come on the board one by one and write the one next step for the solution. There was a pin drop silence in the class. Every face in the class except for that of the teacher's looked scared. Students were coming to board one at a time , some were right , some were wrong but the teacher had the same look for each and every response on the board, Just that the ones who were wrong were receiving a bash with the wooden cane at their back. The whole environment was tensed .The question was Mid-way when the class bell rang. Teacher asked the students to solve it as their homework.
It was almost a daily routine for the mathematics class. For some reasons, the teacher always made sure that students would know how tough it is to learn mathematics.

There were few kids who were doing well in mathematics and rest of them were kind of struggling to understand even the basic concepts. As a result, some of them became teacher's favourite or at least that was what Anwar thought.

Anwar was one of the bright students in 8th grade. Most of the times he would answer the maths problems correctly, he would always finish his homework. But somehow, teacher never seemed to notice him. Each time he would solve a problem correctly or would successfully complete his maths homework, he would want his teacher to acknowledge his work in front of the whole class. But that never happened. Either the teacher would have been preoccupied when it was his turn or would not check the homework when he had done correctly.

But that didn’t let Anwar's spirits down. He was determined that one day his teacher would appreciate him in front of the whole class and would address him by name and not as "this boy " or "that Boy". Knowing a student by name has always been one of the most pride moments for a student. Anwar continued to work harder and harder but nothing seemed to work. All his efforts were not going anywhere. Teacher continued to appreciate a couple of his favorite students. Rest others in the class including Anwar always received a second hand treatment.

This was very disappointing for Anwar. He would always wonder, "What was so special with these kids that Anwar lacked?” "Why does teacher remember their names and not his?". "Are these kids doing something really special which I do not do?”
Out of curiosity and frustration one fine day he stood up and asked one of the teachers favourite kids, "Hey what makes you so special with the teacher? How are you guys always able to impress the teacher by solving all the tough problems?"

Anwar was not prepared for the answer which followed.
The kid answered, "I take private tuition from Sir after school hours. There are some 10-12 students of this class who come there for tuitions. You should also join. He is very nice at tuitions and teaches very well. The best part is he never shouts at us there and is always polite."
Anwar was shocked for two reasons,
One- for he never thought private tuitions were so important.
Two- It was hard for him to imagine his maths teacher being polite as he had always been shouting at kids in the class.

Now it was clear to him that why his teacher remembers the names of these students so distinctly. That evening when he went home he discussed this with his parents. He told them that he would also want tuitions from Sir to which they denied. They told him that your teacher spends an hour in your class, in case you have doubts go and ask him there itself.

So next day when Anwar faced the problem in solving one of the algebra problem, he gathered his confidence, stood up, approached his teacher and asked him for guidance. Teacher gave him such a scornful look after looking at the problem, which shattered Anwar's confidence. Though teacher solved the problem in Anwar's Notebook but before handing over the notebook to Anwar he remarked aloud, “If Only You had brains, you would have solved it. ". Anwar was not prepared for such kind of remark. It shattered whatever remaining confidence he had.

That criticism pinched him hard. He was much low on self-confidence. That evening he went home crying. He narrated the story to his parents. His parents refused to give up. They asked him to take this criticism with a pinch of salt and continue working harder. They were still adamant on not taking tuitions.
From that day Anwar started devoting one extra hour of self-study for Maths.
One month later they had their Mid-term exam. Few days after the exam one of the kids approached him and told him that you know what you have scored 50 out of 50 in mathematics and only you have scored it in the whole class. Anwar asked him how you know as Sir has not mentioned this in the class. He told him that yesterday during the tuition time when teacher was checking the papers; he told us that the whole class has fared so badly in maths except for one boy named Anwar.

He was happy to know that now teacher will announce his name in the class and he would swell with pride. But to his dismay, the teacher was furious when he entered the class. He announced that everyone has fared so badly in Maths. He distributed the papers to everyone and then asked everyone to write on a piece of paper their score and the reason for their score and asked them to read out aloud in the class.
It was Anwar's turn to announce the reason for his score. And he stated, “I am Anwar, I scored 50 out of 50. The reason for my score is that my teacher told me,
“If Only you had brains, you would have solved it.”

Teacher realized his mistake and that day onwards Anwar was his favourite student.

Moral:
It’s a human tendency that if we receive 100 praises and one criticism, we would always focus on that one hurtful thing. But it’s also true that Even the worst criticism can be constructive, it only depends on how you take it.